That is dependent on commitment, making one another a priority, and having the will to change. Well, a man can have commitment issues in general or particularly with just one person. There lies a difference between not being a relationship material and not wanting to have a relationship with you. That depends if he is unsure about his feelings or if he is playing with your feelings. It’s an exhausting experience that leaves you in confusion. You keep hoping that things will progress. Yet, sometimes he can’t make that progress happen. To know how to maintain the situation check these 13 reasons why he keeps you around.
1. He doesn’t know what he wants
It’s pretty common to feel unsure before entering a serious relationship. When a man is unsure, he keeps working with his thoughts and feelings in private. He might feel that the relationship is progressing too fast. Even if he likes you, he is not certain that his feelings are that enormous to have a relationship with you. That’s why he keeps you around. He wants to clear his head before he makes a further decision. His confusion is reflected on you directly. His uncertainty will make you confused too. Tip #1: Don’t let this confusion prevent you from growing as partners or individuals. It’s better to ask slightly how he sees the progression of you two.
2. He can’t get out of the friend zone
He is stuck between the friend zone and his romantic feelings. He likes you but is afraid of rejection. He doesn’t want to ruin the friendship by investing in romantic feelings. You might still ask: Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want me? In this case, he wants you but he doesn’t want the relationship. He keeps you around because of his insecurities and empathy. These two eclipse his other feelings. Tip #2: If you feel that you’re stuck in a platonic relationship, try to convey your feelings too. By creating a path for him, it will be easier to progress your connection.
3. He doesn’t consider you as his other half, yet!
He’s still doing his calculations to find out if he’s sure about his feelings. For men, the progress in the relationship can be scary and brutal at times. He enjoys your presence and spending time with you. He invests time and energy in you. On the other hand, he pulls back a little when he needs to introduce you to his family or friends. Tip #3: Don’t try to force him into deciding because that will only pull him away. Until he finds out if you’re the one, you might choose to keep your dating option open. Hence, you give him time to reflect, but try to have a conversation with him to solve it.
4. You’re making yourself too available
He’s having the boyfriend priorities before he gives you the boyfriend privileges. If you were always available for him then he would take you for granted. He knows that you’ll be there for him, no matter what. You haven’t set any boundaries or conditions for him. He keeps you around even if he doesn’t want a relationship because you’re allowing it. Tip #4: In this case, you should draw your boundaries. Until you create the relationship, work on yourself. Be there for him but don’t give him the boyfriend privileges before dating exclusively.
5. He’s caught up in his last relationship
He enjoys your presence. He finds it a form of an escape from his last relationship. At this moment, he might be caught in his mixed feelings. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings for you, he just isn’t ready to move on. Tip #5: Try not to be stuck in a rebound relationship. That would leave you confused and heartbroken. Show a little bit of understanding, but be focused on your needs and priorities too.
6. He doesn’t want to date exclusively
Being exclusive is a step closer to creating a stable relationship. He doesn’t want to date exclusively because he knows that leads to something serious. He keeps you around if he doesn’t want a relationship because:
He is used to being constantly around women;
He wants to enjoy being with someone but without taking any responsibilities;
He wants to be connected with you but not emotionally;
Tip #6: This time you have to set your terms and conditions too. Let him know that you’re looking for a serious relationship. If he isn’t interested in you that much then you should reconsider your “relationship”.
7. He’s searching for something better
If he’s dating simultaneously other women then this is a huge turn-off. This means that he isn’t sure about you. He keeps searching for other people with whom he can be in a relationship. It’s quite understandable to feel in need to show him that you’re the one. Hence, this isn’t a part of a healthy relationship. If you have to constantly prove him your value so he can stay then that can turn into something toxic. Tip #7: You need to let him know about your expectations. If you put much more effort into this “relationship” then you should take a step back.
8. You’re straining the relationship
Persuading him won’t make him jump into a relationship with you, in a blink of an eye. Even delusional beliefs that he’ll change his behavior won’t make it happen. Because he feels under pressure, he’ll keep resisting. He’s aware that he isn’t choosing organically to be in a relationship with you. He keeps you around until his head is clear enough to know what to do. Well, he might do it to let you know that he’s the one who makes his own decisions. Tip #8: Take a step back. You should also give him some space to reflect and decide for himself. If you feel that nothing is changing, talk with him, seek new opportunities.
9. He’s playing it safe (Doesn’t want to get hurt)
He wants to take things slowly so he won’t be hurt by rushing into a relationship. If he has been hurt by previous partners then he wants to take it slowly. His nervousness and pain are expressed in this way: Keeping you around but not wanting a relationship. This state will continue until he feels ready to be himself with you. You’ll know it if he starts to be more vulnerable and has a different approach towards you. Tip #9: All you have to do is understand him. Create a pace when he can feel at ease and secure with you.
10. He needs a companion
Men don’t get attached the same way as women do. For men, it’s better to have a woman around than no woman around. He isn’t ready to connect with you emotionally. That’s why he pulls back when things get serious. In this situation, he might act hot and cold. Investing feelings and progressing intimidates him. He just wants to have you around for fun, excitement, and friendship. Tip #10: If you feel that he isn’t interested in you long-term, then ask him. It’s better to have a heartfelt conversation than wait and hope that he’ll change.
11. He’s afraid to make changes in his life
He’s ready to be with you but not take any type of responsibility. That’s why he wants to keep you around but doesn’t want a relationship. He might be head over heels for you, but he might never take a step to upgrade the relationship. He doesn’t want to get out of his comfort zone. He doesn’t want to be responsible for hurting his or your feelings. Tip #12: The first step is to understand him. The second step is to help him in overcoming this type of insecurity. You can help him by making him feel at ease with you. Showing him that feelings can be hurt but fixed too (to a certain amount).
12. He needs to fulfill his needs
It’s pretty understandable to wonder why he keeps me around if he doesn’t want me? He keeps you around because his goal isn’t to love you but to fulfill his needs. Most of the time men find understanding love as a challenge. They confuse love with lust. A man who is driven by the desire to fulfill his needs: money, sex, career. He thinks that he’s “loving” you that way. If he cares about you, is affectionate, and loves you, he wouldn’t try to use you. Tip #12: If you don’t have his love and attention then choose to take a step back. You can even use the No Contact Rule. This way, you give him some space and time to miss your presence and reflect.
13. He just wants to be FWB
A man takes any opportunity that is offered… He does keep you around if he doesn’t want a relationship because you allow it. If you’ve been having sex but never told him you want to get serious, then he’ll take advantage of it. If you want a serious relationship and he doesn’t then you’re acting according to his terms. Tip #13: Tell him what your point of view is. Be firm and not ruthless. When you know his answer, you can look for someone that meets your pov.
How do you know he’s just keeping you around?
You’ll know that he’s keeping you around if you’re left in confusion. You feel like your relationship isn’t progressing at all. Don’t get me wrong. You feel loved but you don’t feel complete. There is a clash of ideas about how you want to define the connection that you have. To know why he keeps you around here are 6 signs! 3 signs to know that he keeps you around if he doesn’t want a relationship: ~ He doesn’t talk about you in his future. This is one of the signs that tell that he’s searching for other options too. It’s not that he doesn’t like you but he isn’t sure about his feelings. ~ He doesn’t discuss his plans or goals. To not connect with you emotionally he doesn’t open up to you. He draws this border so he has time to think if he wants to create a serious relationship. ~ He doesn’t give you a chance to meet his friends/family. This is a dead sign that he doesn’t want to make it official. He keeps you around because he likes you or is attracted to you. Yet, he’s not ready to take a further step and make it official. He doesn’t know what he wants. 3 signs to know that he keeps you around if he doesn’t want you: ~ He doesn’t initiate conversations. He will reply to your texts but never initiate them. This is his way to pull and push. You’ll keep initiating conversations as long as he replies all the time. ~ He changes plans at the last minute. This is his way of keeping you hung on him. He will always say that he’ll make it up to you. He would try to improvise any kind of plan to change your mind. ~ You’re not his priority. He can’t put himself before you. You’ll get that impression that he loves me, he loves me not. If he’s interested in you then he would put everything aside. He would take care of your connection and upgrade it.
He doesn’t want a relationship but keeps contacting you….
Until you don’t react or tell him about your boundaries, he’ll keep contacting you. There are various reasons why he contacts you in this situation.
- He might think that you want the same thing as he does.
- He is searching for a relationship without responsibilities.
- He wants to find out if you would give him a chance and follow him along.
- He just wants someone to be flirty with.
- He might be bored and looking for a fling.
- He doesn’t want to let you date other men. If you do not share the same interest or have the same POV, it’s better to let him know. You’ll not waste your time and have false hopes. You can be firm with your request. You can tell him that you’re looking for someone interested in a serious relationship.
Final thoughts
You can tell that he’s keeping you around if he’s doesn’t know what he wants and is afraid to make a change. If he doesn’t want a relationship then he’s not going to give the same effort as you. Either way, you’ll find yourself feeling loved and unloved. It’s important to take an action and change the situation. Instead of waiting for him to change, work on yourself, and find someone who has the same aim. Much love, Callisto
